The wondrous spirit of a child is one of the few rare, pure examples of curiosity and the confusing nature of the world. The naivety and wonder to learn is what leads all us humans to pursue knowledge be it in school, outdoors, sports, adults, themselves, or any other interest that will shape how they develop in life. 

As a baby develops into a toddler they slowly grasp their environment and conscience in themselves, don’t touch hot things, stay away from wires, high up places are scary, you slowly learn the fears that keep you alive. You understand that not everything in the world is meant for exploration or safe for you to do, you slowly learn rules to keep yourself safe and subconscious fears to be able to stay safe but overall you still trust people around you the one guarantee you have is people protect other people. 

Transforming from toddler to kid, you learn to communicate with other kids; They are a bit different from the big humans you are used to seeing on a daily basis; they sound more like you and some share your curiosity while others act like they already have their life figured out. Bigger kids make fun of you because you look a bit different from them. You sit there wondering how they think we are all so different; We are the same size, go to the same school, have the same teacher, live in the same area; what makes you so different? This one particular bigger kid makes fun of you because you say words funny, you sit there silently thinking we say these words the exact same, you don’t let other kids bring you down, you just don’t think about them and have other friends. 

You go home to the adults and you slowly see you are a bit different but that isn’t bad it just makes you more you, you are your own person. Still a kid but a little older you find your rhythm in life you know who to talk to who to avoid and who to keep at arms lengths, days go by and it get more confusing kids who you would have never spoken to in the beginning now suddenly have an unexplainable appeal to you, your original friends now seem outdated and they also realized as such. Now it’s a competition on who is gonna change first to fit in with all the others tired of being different. You lunge at the opportunity of being the same as everyone else. 

Suddenly your not quiet a teen but not a kid and your thrown into a whole new environment, new kids, new adults, new environment after you only just found your footing among the people you knew, meeting these new people you try to find your place among them slowly begin to make the same decisions and choose to avoid certain people but for different reasons, the people you think you would fit in with the most are the ones you are afraid to join, you no longer want to be an individual and choose to be a collective for fear of being left out. Going through the year you realize that you are no different from all the other kids. 

You’re now the outsider trying to find your place among them and trying to return to your original habitat is no longer an option. You’re in a purgatory where you don’t quite belong trying too hard to choose any side but ultimately aren’t truly accepted by either. You’re now a teen and you’re no longer someone who thinks that’s what you need to be to be accepted. You don’t want to think about the alternative. It’s better to be a sheep in a wolf suit than a sheep surrounded by wolves. Time progresses and it gives you slow effects your no longer genuine with the adults at home your no longer seeking out the interests that once captivated your tiny human mind and now opt for acceptance from the masses choosing to be like everyone else rather than your own individualism you can no longer take off the suit you are now only the world.

 You slowly start to lose yourself and now are in a sea of wolves then the isolation hits 2020 everyone is now sent back to their dens and are spending time with the ones they call family but you, you don’t know what you are anymore you try to fit back into the barn but you can’t stop baring your teeth at the other sheep. You try to make your own den but you know it’s going to fail and you know you can’t do it by yourself so you are left with the dreaded discomfort of being surrounded by sheep while you’re the wolf.

 The sheep keep asking why do you no longer eat hay, why do you no longer hop the fence, why is your nose big, why are your teeth sharp, why do you look at us that way? You slowly realize that all that discomfort the suit brought you now only feels like your skin trying to take it off is like ripping off your own skin so you keep it on and have to hide who you are for fear of being killed by the shepherd. 

You were never completely a wolf but at the same time you cannot regress back to being a sheep, you’re simply an unholy creature that god never intended to exist. You contemplate on who you truly are never understanding but fighting like you were a wolf, time passes and now your den holds you. Trying to take off the suit but you only end up cutting your chest. The suit is one with you and you’re scared now it can never come off and the possibility of asking for help is long thrown out the window for fear of death.

You’re finally complacent with the idea that you are now a wolf and become “at peace” then you hear a voice. The voice guides you through the forest though you keep trying to bite it, it doesn’t yell out in pain or yell at you all it tells you is you’re safe with me, slowly you stop biting altogether, the claws fall out shortly after, the fur slowly breaks apart. The voice becomes kinder and you could tell it belongs to a woman.

 She brushes all the wool revealed from the suit breaking, and does the most confusing thing of calling your fur and fangs beautiful even though once upon a time they tried to hurt her. As you go through the forest you no longer wonder where you’re going you just enjoy the voice that’s leading you slowly your fur dissipates and your wool becomes even whiter you have your horns back but the fangs remain. 

Then the voice stops she tells you “where are here” looking around all you can notice is a small pond and her voice is gone you howl for it to come back spend countless sleepless nights running around the pond too scared to leave it but also stubborn enough to not do nothing the days fades to weeks then months finally a year. You finally sit down by the pond and look down all you see is yourself and you finally realize that’s enough, your fangs fall into the pond and you just leave.